Thoughts On Standstill Girl

Truth be told, I’ve never been a fan of JRPGs. And that’s putting it as lightly as possible. Technical limitations of yore becoming design decisions of today is what bothers me the most about them, and it does so to no end. The scrolling text, the endless, unsophisticated menus, the insignificant random encounters, the lack of mouse support... It’s all a load of bollocks is what it is. I say this only to try to put the following statement in perspective: Standstill Girl is bloody brilliant.

A Game A Day #6 - The Faeries' Curse

Games seldom have me grinning like an idiot, or make me want to listen to The Young Tradition. Far, far too seldom. The Faeries’ Curse does both in less than ten minutes. Verily!

A Game A Day #5 - Hotline Trail

I have an innate fear of motorbikes. Basically, moving at a ludicrous speed protected by anything less than a titanium exoskeleton is not really my thing. Luckily, there’s Hotline Trail, which looks like what I imagine riding a bike at night in the eighties to be. Without the mangling crashes, natch.

A Game A Day #4 - Knock-knock

It’s the Year of The Ice-Pick once again. Those in the know have probably already acquired and consumed the Russian team’s latest offering by now. The fortunate fuckers outside it should read on to find out why they are lucky to be able to try out an IPL game for the first time.

A Game A Day #3 - Savant: Ascent

Utterly insane. You play a masked figure dressed in a purple pimp outfit, collect broken CDs to gain powers so you could shoot at balls more effectively. Utterly fucking insane.

A Game A Day #2 - Firepoint

I’d love to call Firepoint a firefighter simulation, but it’s missing some key ingredients. Mainly, undressing yourself and doing calendar photoshoots. Or undressing yourself in front of crowds of celebrating women. But it is a game about fighting fire.

A Game A Day #1 - Wrack

Before even playing Wrack, I was linked to an article by Brad Carney, the man behind most of the game. In it, he vehemently dismisses the notion of his brainchild being a “retro” game in any way. I do get how someone could mistake it for one, though. It is an FPS that relies heavily on genre conventions of yore, like SPEED, DIFFICULTY and CARNAGE.